He spent January and February in a fever of painting and drawing, always seeking to improve, to reach some internal standard. His letters to Theo mention this and his anxiety over money. He doesn't know how he is going to live from month to month.
His opinions on money haen't changed, however much he happens to need it to survive. The problem is, Theo, my brother, not to let yourself be bound, no matter by what, especially not by a golden chain. - Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, The Hague, c. 11 March 1882
Odd, but I did not realize from his earlier letters that he had spent some time homeless, living under bridges in London and Belgium. This makes sense though, considering the worry from family members. He finally says it out loud in a letter from April of 1882, years later. His letters to Theo mention this and his anxiety over money. He doesn't know how he is going to live from month to month and this is a major source of stress for him. Is it one of the stressors that sends him over the edge for the first time?
He makes me want to play with graphite and pen.
IN May of 1882, Vincent confesses to Theo that he has taken up with a woman he met in the streets. She had been betrayed by a man and was pregnant and ill when she and Vincent met. He sees in her a perfect assistant, and enjoys working with her. She seems to understand his rages (as he puts it). He says, "She and I are two unhappy people who keep each other company and share a burden, and that is precisely why unhappiness is making way for happiness, and the unbearable is becoming bearable." - Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, The Hague, 1-2 June 1882
By June, Vincent's carefully constructed world seems to be unraveling. He isn't sleeping well (at all), and the money troubles are more pronounced. I did not realize that someone could be placed under guardianship for not being able to manage money. I wonder if Vincent would have had the same challenges had he lived in a different time.
Do you know that drawing with words is also an art, which sometimes betrays a slumbering hidden force, like small blue or grey puffs of smoke indicate a fire on the hearth? - Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, The Hague, 6 July 1882
Feeling and love for nature sooner or later find a response from people who are interested in art. It is the painter's duty to be entirely absorbed by nature and to use all his intelligence to express sentiment in his work, so that it becomes intelligible to other people. - Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, The Hague, c. 1 August 1882
They will never be able to understand what painting is. They cannot understand that the figure of a labourer—some furrows in a ploughed field - a bit of sand, sea and sky—are serious subjects, so difficult, but at the same time so beautiful, that it is indeed worth while to devote one's life to expressing the poetry hidden in them. - Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, The Hague, 19 August 1882
So what is needed is courage and self-sacrifice and risking something, not for gain, but because it is useful and good; one must retain one's trust in one's fellow creatures and fellow countrymen in general. - Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, The Hague, 1 December 1882
I want something more concise, more simple, more serious; I want more soul and more love and more heart. - Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, The Hague, c. 11 December 1882
One must go on working silently, leaving the result to the future. If one prospect is closed, perhaps another will open itself - there must be some prospect, and a future too, even if we do not know its geography. Conscience is a man's compass, and though the needle sometimes deviates, though one often perceives irregularities when directing one's course by it, one must still try to follow its direction. - Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh, The Hague, c. 12-18 December 1882
So ends 1882.
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